I Feel Like A Musical…

A few days ago it was my birthday

(Yay! Happy Birthday Paco! Thank you! Your welcome! Do you want to hang out? Sure! Are you interested in Byzantine Neo-Classic Architecture? Am I ever! Maybe we can organise a day where we can take a few books out to the park and you can bring the packed lunch-)

As I was I saying, it was my birthday a few days ago, and my beloved progenitors gave me a Pink Floyd double CD. Progenitors is a fancy word for parents. I use this word because it makes me sound intelligent, and because it also sounds like a character from Transformers. I think it would be a robot that could turn into a tank…

Yes, I got a Pink Floyd double CD, named The Wall. I really like it. I put it on and ate heaps of chocolate and then watched the Dragons win the Premiership. I did this because I am quite masculine and enjoy watching and playing sport. I am also a Dragons supporter. It was glorious! The first time I had EVER seen the Dragons win a premiership, and convincingly too! We smashed those Roosters to a pulp! We charcoaled their foul bodies! That there was a pun. A pun is a play on words. Foul, meaning awful and disgusting is a homonym of the word fowl, which is the word for a type of small ground bird. This implies a humorous connotation. The same thing applies to paltry/poultry another avian-detractive characteristic pun which can be used in similar circumstances.

So The Wall. Yeah. The Wall was really good, but I got listening really intently right at the end of the second disc. Here there are two tracks. Waiting For The Worm, a cool track about how fascists are evil, and The Trial. The Trial is an entirely different track. Its quite different from the rest of the disc. Stylistically and lyrically its like a musical, and as I was singing, I realised, how I love musicals…

I want to create a musical, an epic sounding, epic looking epic. Here are my ideas.

1. Stalin comes back from the dead as Llama. I will call it Llama-Stalin: A Ballad of the Andes. Llama Stalin is born in the mountains of Peru on a Llama farm outside Cuzco. He soon works out that he and his fellow Llamas are being exploited rather inefficiently and unequally. He vows to make an end to this, and to exploit efficiently and equally all of his dromedarian brethren. After a brief Revolution and civil war, Llama-Stalin takes control, fashioning a moustache from a broom-head, and becomes a brutal animalistic despot. This plot has nothing to do with that of George Orwell’s Animal Farm, which I recently read. This one’s about Llamas. Are their any Llamas in Animal Farm? No.

Here is Lloyd.

Llama Stalin's Second-in-Command, Lloyd, Toils in the Brutal Rock Mines.

2. Scotland in Space. A small Scottish town is transported into the darkness of the void. The air dissapates and everyone dies.

3. Satan Wears A Tie. No I’m not stating the well known fact that the Great Deciever is a smart dresser. My story will take place in the near future, when the CEO of a large banking firm is possessed by the Devil. It will detail his angst and personal trials as he struggles to get rid of the diabolic presence in his mind, and avoid repaying the Government’s bailout loans. Finally Satan will win, creating a massive Trans-national business corporation. No discernible differences in company policy will be noticed.

4. Count Von Burgenberger. A story about a small German count who possesses a large plot of land outside of Wiesbaden. It will detail his journey across England, from Southampton to the Orkney’s Island. A kindly old gentlemen with a stutter and a little puppy named Schnappi, the twist in the tale really occurs when the Count detonates a nuclear device in London and sabotages the Home Fleet at Scapa Flow for the “Greater German Reich” and sadistically tortures a field mouse to the brink of insanity.

5. Full Marx. A troubled student at Hyacinth Marlborow High, a small school in suburban Melbourne, finds self-discipline and a free source of facial hair, when a mysterious substitute Carl Marks appears.  Karl Marx Carl Marks teaches Marty Schuker about the gloriousness of Communism and the Soviet way. Using Carl Marks’ teachings Marty Schuker confronts bullies, teachers and the Bulgarian Mafia in a heart-warming story of Fidelity and revolution. At the end Marty leads a popular revolt, and installs himself as first citizen of the school, killing off Marks, all the teachers, and any of his comrades deemed revisionist in a series of bloody purges.

Any other ideas? No probably not. They’re pretty awesome. If you can think of any (I doubt it though) then tell me so I can steal them. After all my friends, that’s how Facebook was created.


2 thoughts on “I Feel Like A Musical…

  1. oh my god this is brilliant. it reminds me, a bit, of the brilliantly weird ramblings of a friend of mine from when *I* was in highschool. At one point he made himself what he called his Marx Box – it was a wooden box, formerly used to hold a bottle of wine, I think, with a rope handle, and he decoupaged images of Karl Marx (NOT Carl Marks) all over it, along with some selected quotations from Capital and the Communist Manifesto.

    my own fantasy musical is based on Milton’s *Paradise Lost* and features Satan wearing a purple satin cape with a sequined lining. There’s kind of a disco/Jesus Christ Superstar feel to my Paradise Lost musical. Satan’s Big Number is called “Eat That Apple.”

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