Mandate Required *giggle*

These Rare Wisents Live in Polland

Glorious Soviet Wisents (Bison) Fight For the People's Perverted Pleasure

Poles: An ethnic group that make up the majority of people in Poland, a nation in East Europe that borders, Germany, Spain, Russia and South Africa. The language spoken by Poles is Polish, from the Slavic Branch of the Indo-European Language family. The history of Poland is quite interesting, converted to Catholicism quite early into the…

Oh. Nefarious homophones.

Polls: Surveys taken by evil companies to show the glorious opinions of the working class population and whatnot. As technology and civilisation as a whole, has progressed to what is no doubt its zenith, and as we have developed glorious things like Facebook, Segways, and phones that according to their name possess above average intelligence, so our polling technology has grown more and more reliable.

A result of this extraordinary phenomenon, is that political parties now base much of the policies on Poles (like Lech Walesa). Politicians backflip, shimmy, tumble, jumpstep and shuffle to the latest polls as if they were the latest hits from that renowned communist entomologist Frank Sinatra.

There has been two reactions to this. Probably more. But two major ones I suppose, like there are only usually two answers to a question like “Are you fan of post-modernism”, ie. “Yes” and “What?” Direct democracy! Cry some, “Yay! Global networking! Facebook! Arab Spring! Twitter! People power!” Mob rule! Cry others. “Bread and circuses. Panda-ring to the masses. Unwashed hordes. Erosion of sensible government.”

Me? I don’t know, but one exception to this new rule is the issue of gay marriage. It seems that a fair majority of us Australians want homosexuals to have the same rights in regards to marriage as heterosexuals. It must be true. The polls said so. Funnily enough however, neither major political party has picked this issue up. Only our pinko lefty stalwarts the Greens, and God knows what fate will befall them in the fiery pits of Zoroastrian hell.

Both leaders, whom I have affectionately dubbed “Big Ears” and “Ranga”, claim to have a man date. They say it all the time, “Man date this, man date that, great big new tax, lies lies lies lies…” But is it true? Ranga has a spouse, Timothy, who seems to be a man, and I do imagine they might go out on dates every now and then, between meetings of the cabinet and hairdressing conventions. So yes I do believe Ranga when she says she has a mandate, and I often recommend some good restaurants, cinemas or secluded bush tracks for such things to take place. I am of course talking to the television, but there is a small chance, like in 1984 that they can record what you do and report back to the government, and while that chance remains, I will continue to speak to my beloved somewhat antiquated appliance. If this turns out not to be true, than I will feel somewhat embarrassed.

Big Ears, I don’t believe. Big Ears is a Liberal. Not a liberal. A Liberal. I’d explain the ideological difference, but that would take so long as to be both impractical and unnecessary. Fish.

Anyway, since Big Ears is a Liberal, and a somewhat conservative Christian, and those types prefer Holy Water and self-flagellation to the perfidious “Gays”, I doubt his frequent claims that he has a mandate, and refute them in no unnecessary terms daily, nightly and ever so rightly. He is however not in government, and has no access to the control systems of Big Brother and his surveillance network. I am sure Ranga and her henchmen note my loyalty however, and record it duly.

Furthermore Big Ears does not even possess a male spouse! The panache! Am I to assume, from his constant rhetoric that is having an affair with an unknown male of our species? No. Big Ears is a Good Christian, and is above such shenanigans. He must not understand the definition of this key word, and I will undertake to explain it to him, next time we meet.


1. Hypocrisy and semantics plague our political system.

2. Homophones are fun.


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