Lately I have been experiencing a strange phenomenon.
Self evidently I have not developed legendary intelligence after seeing a flashing light over a field of celery in Western Kansas. It’s not a major crop there, and since I have a healthy distaste for that particular vegetable, I doubt I’d ever travel halfway across the world to have my nostrils filled with innocuous stuff.
I also am not undergoing a late onset of puberty. As a masculine fellow I developed quite early, with the first sprouts of…
Anyway, the phenomenon that I do speak of is of course Russian Spam, or as I like to call it: “Нападение России спам!” Over the past week or two, my post on mongooses has been recieving copious amounts of spam from Russian websites. These hail from websites advocating interior decorating, second hand books, cars and essay writing.
I am a socialist. If you haven’t noticed this you may be slightly inept. Lovely word, inept. Yes, I am a socialist and so I do not approve of advertisements. It’s not so much by reason, more innate nature that I disapprove, with the same blind and unquestioning disaproval that a devout, yet not obnoxious, Catholic bears towards “the gays”.
This instinct soon collides with another. Whilst I am a socialist, I am not authoritarian, like Stalin, Hoxha (Pronounced Hodger, yeah I know, it’s Albanian) and that psychedelic hellcat Chairman Meow. I am libertarian. My political compass result rated me as “Pot-smoking idealist”, and whilst I’ve never been that into pottery before I imagine it’s far from ideal for your health. I believe in freedom of speech, and I use it profusely, like a bear uses pepper spray in a lemur colony, and so I am made uneasy.
Finally I came to a compromise by using my third and most powerful force. Irony! All spam that is creative enough will be published, and will be replied to. Links and searchable names will be omitted, whilst the majority of the incoherent and bewildering text, translated into Anglisky, will be able to read and enjoyed by the glorious revolutionary masses.
This decree is now law and will not be countermanded. Much.