Penguinbane is gone. Our dear beloved Newt Gingrich. Although he made unrealistic statements about space, loved God, despised the left and was renowned for his interest in popular hygiene, Penguinbane somehow did not succeed in his ultimate quest to become President of the United States (POTUS). Coincidentally an anagram of POTUS is POUTS, and pouting being one of the myriad of reactions that comes to mind when I hear a little smidgeon of this on my television late at night.
“As to the presidency, I’m asked sometimes is Mitt Romney conservative enough? And my answer is simple – compared to Barack Obama? You know, this is not a choice between Mitt Romney and Ronald Reagan. This is a choice between Mitt Romney and the most radical leftist president in American history.”
To be correct I didn’t pout. I got up off my seat, walked over to the television and said the word “no” loudly and repeatedly, with intermittent inclusion of “idiot”. My beef? Udder than the supposed fact that conservative is now a byword for “best”, the equally intangible statement that Obama is the most radical leftist president in American history. Please. I live in Australia and I know that not to be the case, as much as my subversive little heart wishes otherwise. I will present to Penguinbane three arguments. Three presidents who were more socialist than Barrack Obama.
El Presidente Uno: Theodore Roosevelt.
Oh Teddy! Interventionist hero of the Spanish Wars, roughrider, game hunter and all round badass! He rode meese and strangled nakeds with his bear hands! Often ranked within the 5th best presidents of all time! Is he not more conservative than Chuck Norris? Well aside from his Spaniard ousting adventures overseas, Theodore Roosevelt was famous for his trust busting. That’s right, the evil statist restraint of capitalism’s ethereal invisible hand, infringing the abilities of hardworking honest industrialists to gain monopolies on certain sectors of the economy. Also he was a greenie. He basically created national parks and was avowed conservationist. He would have liked the EPA and wind farms if Marx magic were able to resurrect his corpse today. Verdict? Tree-hugging liberal.
Der Prasident Zwei: Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
A distant cousin of Teddy, and therefore a commie by default, Franklin Delano Roosevelt is often rated as one of the USA’s greatest presidents, for his skillful steering of America out of the Great Depression and into World War Two. FDR’s package to revive the ailing United States was disgusting heartless communist filth that worked quite effectively if some historians are to believed. It was based around not only the recovery of the economy to normal levels, but more decisively “relief” for the unemployed and “reform” to prevent the Great Depression from happening again. That means wealth redistribution and regulation kiddos, and that’s socialist. FDR’s New Deal also relied on massive public works programs to provide employment to proletarian scum and revitalise sections of the economy that deserved to die. Though much headway has been made by a series of more sane governments that have eroded FDR’s evil regulations, and made the natural profitable cycles as seen in the Global Financial Crisis possible again, socialist anathemas like the Tennessee Valley Authority and the outdated anti-market concept of “social security” still exist.
Le President Trois: Dwight Eisenhower
Dwight, like T. Roosevelt at first glance does not seem fairly socialist. He was a Republican. He was a five-star general who put all of Western Europe under the stars and stripes. He became the super commander of NATO, intervened in Iran and Guatemala to topple left leaning democratic leaders and replace them in national interest. But all this doesn’t diminish his socialist aspect. After all, did not Trotsky believe in a world revolution? Did not the Comintern specialise in the creation in the contamination of precious bodily fluids across the world? The fact remains that although Ike fought the Soviets back like a true patriotic son, his national policy would be condemned as socialist if put forward today. What did he do? Well for starters the top tax rate in Eisenhower’s reign was 94%. Today Obama’s trying on his class warfare to raise it to 40%. He ordered the state build highways, rather than rely on friendly private corporations and expanded exponentially on the disgusting social security FDR forced on the brave American populace. He also tyrannically placed in troops to enforce educational integration at Little Rock, Arkansas. Astronomical taxes, builds autobahns, gives money to filthy poor folk, makes war on conservative values. Eisenhower is undoubtedly a Red. If only McCarthy had spotted him and acted accordingly.
So next time you hear, or perhaps even yourself spout, Penguinbane’s misplaced rhetoric, actually consider America’s history, and realise that Obama is not socialist. He’s a moderate conservative, well to the right of Eisenhower and most centre-right christian democrats in Europe. Peace fraternal and sisternal comrades, and please rectify any errors this hapless Australian has made. Read here for an interesting more comprehensive version I’ve found.